you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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