It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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