So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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