Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
