you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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