Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
