Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
