How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
