If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The power of my boobs compel you
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
