Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
