He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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