so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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