You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
