Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
