he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think a kid would responsible me up
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
