Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So squirting runs in the family.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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