At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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