I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
