god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
