rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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