I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
