it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
