at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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