we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
