i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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