I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
