you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize