Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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