Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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