:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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