I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
