By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
