we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
nutella sex= disaster
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
