I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
