I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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