dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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