He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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