This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
