omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
