Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
