It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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