just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
