I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
