I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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