Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
