Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how can u be prego again
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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