whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
