Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
