A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
