im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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