There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
