i think my mom watched the whole time
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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