Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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