just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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