Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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