she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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