fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
