Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
