Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
