he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
