so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
