Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
