Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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