it's too hot outside to masturbate.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
