Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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