I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
