And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
